Beauty Through the Pause: My Healing Journey

Welcome! Im Shanae! I’m 34 years “young”they say, born and raised in Jacksonville FL the 904… DUUUVVALLLL forever. Currently made a home here in Orlando FL and yes we are absolutely Disney/theme park obsessed. Follow my social ParkHopperQueen25 for fun! I’ve been with my husband since junior high school. We met when I was just 14 years old, through all the phases of growing up, life, marriage, and parenthood, we built a life together and raised two beautiful daughters along the way. 13 years old and 6 years old.

If you asked people who knew me before all of this happened, they’d probably describe me as hardworking, driven, outspoken, and always on the go. I’ve climbed the ladder in every career path I’ve ever stepped into. I always took pride in that. I liked the hustle. I liked achieving. I liked proving to myself that I could do more, be more, accomplish more.

Honestly, I think I became addicted to the fast pace of life.

Work 40+ hours a week. Come home and clock into another full-time role as a wife and mom. Repeat.

I lived in constant motion.

Until March 4th, 2026.

The day I became a statistic.

Breast cancer.

At first, it felt like a death sentence. And if I’m being truthful, there are still moments it feels that way. Fear doesn’t just magically disappear because you’re trying to stay positive. I still have scary thoughts. I still cry. I still question things.

But one thing this journey has unexpectedly given me is the ability to slow down long enough to actually hear my own thoughts.

Journaling became my outlet. Somewhere between doctor appointments, scans, waiting rooms, and sleepless nights, I started writing. Real writing. Honest writing. The kind where you stop pretending you’re okay all the time.

I consider myself someone who needs to understand the “why” behind everything. I’m analytical. Scientific-minded. I ask a million questions. Some may even call me argumentative at times, but for me, I just struggle accepting things I can’t logically make sense of.

So naturally… this diagnosis completely rocked me.

Why me?

Why now?

How did my life become divided into a “before” and “after” so quickly?

As I sit here writing this almost three months into my diagnosis, I’ve realized something.

This pause in my life… this complete interruption of everything I once thought mattered so much… may be trying to teach me something I’ve struggled with my entire life.

Patience.

Not just patience in healing.

Patience in living.

For so long I focused on productivity, schedules, work, responsibilities, and survival mode that I forgot how to simply exist in a moment.

But today I had an awakening.

What if instead of dwelling on all the fear and negativity this pause has brought into my life, I started paying attention to the small sparks of joy I would have otherwise completely overlooked?

The quiet mornings.

The laughter from my daughters.

The comfort of home.

Sunsets.

Prayer.

Stillness.

Peace.

Beauty.

Maybe this pause didn’t only come to interrupt my life.

Maybe it came to wake me up.

So this season of my life is about learning to stop and smell the roses. To appreciate moments instead of rushing through them. To heal. To reflect. To share honestly. To find beauty even in difficult places.

And maybe through this pause… you’ll find some too.